I’ve been really depressed lately- Summer is over- I’m scared about not having a job and all that that implies.
I will be financially dependent on Chris until I find another job- soon, I hope?
My whole Tucson identity centers on my working at the JCC. Save a few, all of the relationships I’ve developed are JCC-related. What happens when I no longer have that?

And the deployment is over- while I’m thrilled for Chris to be home, I’m anxious. We’ve never fought about money before- I don’t really want to start now. And he’s been communicating with me less and less often. I don’t think I supported him enough on this deployment and I’m scare that now he’s thinking I don’t have what it takes to be a military wife.

Done

I really want to say FUCK YOU to everything in Tucson, and go home.
But I no longer have a home in any of my former homes.

goals

Goals for the next six months:

HEALTH - Lose about 10 pounds and keep it off (tone, tighten)

Eat well- Yucky food only when necessary, Eat out max of once per week

Daily exercise- walk with Mav in AM or evening.

Wii Fit once per day

HABITAT- Redecorate apartment (bedroom)

Found out if we can paint

Pick comforter, decorations

FINANCES- Save money

Cut out superfluous spending (separate acct for fun?)

Pay off Vic’s card (around 225 to go)

Pay down Discover card

Add to savings (2,000 by December)

SPIRIT- New Job or increase satisfaction in current job

adventures in texas

Isn't it nice to see your family?
Don't you love to hear about everything they don't approve of in your life?
Aren't you so proud when they shun a person who's important to you because of their own narrow-minded BS?

The really unfortunate part is that his family is the complete opposite towards me- they are warm, loving and sweet and they make me feel like part of the family. That means the next time we come, we'll probably spend even less time here with my family. I missed my family so much, and now I just want to go home to Tucson. Boo.

my boyfriend sent me flowers

Men totally underestimate the appeal of flowers. Yes, they tend to be a bit expensive unless you pick them out of someone else's garden. Yes, they die in a few days. Yes, they have no actual function besides looking pretty.

But all that aside, flowers make a woman feel special like nothing else does.

And they're my favorites.

more that bugs me

When we do talk, it's a little forced.
It's getting harder because I don't feel involved with his life.

Things that bug me right now.

I've been sick for a week.
I'm on my second period for the month.
My birth control prescription is all fucked up.
I can't sleep.
I have NO MONEY.
I have no solid job prospects in Tucson.
I haven't been able to talk to my boyfriend in a week.